Misery

so after consulting the weather forecast, I decided my best chance for getting in my 17 miles was to try and do it at about 6 pm last night. There was plenty of thunder but 0 raindrops falling. The captain wasn't a big proponent of my plan, I think he was concerned about me getting struck by lightening. So I promised to stay in the neighborhood and cut it short if I saw lightening or a thunderstorm deluge. It was very humid and sticky out, but nice to run while there was some light in the sky. I started off way too fast and was left with a definte lack of energy by the time I was at about mile 12. I had snaked my way through the neighborhood, never getting much farther than 2 miles away from the house, just in case the sky opened up. So by mile 12 I was about .75 miles away from home and I considered calling it and heading home. My stomach was hurting from the power bar gel cap thingys ( which I later found out from the Captain that I should have eaten 3 instead of 6. Good to know for next time.) And I couldn't get the sweet taste of the gatorade mix out of my mouth. I think I need to take more water and less Gatorade. Water seems to quench my thirst better. I made it to the water fountain at the park next to my house and dumped some gatorade out and refilled my fuel belt bottle with water. I made the mistake of drinking too much water which added to the discomfort in my stomach. After the water stop at the park, I decided I was going to forge on and attempt to complete my 17 miles. The last 5 miles were not the most pleaseant 5 miles I've ever run, but I kept telling myself I could finish. At about mile 16 I started to have an excruciating, made me want to cry calf cramp. I tried stretching, adjusting my form, and more stretching which did nothing to alleviate the pain. By 16.45 miles I started walking with the hope that I could walk out the cramp and start running again. Never happended. By the time I made it to my street I was worried that the stomach pain was going to culminate in something much worse, and knew I desperately needed to make home to my own bathroom. After all was said and done I ended up at 16.80 miles. I was very dissapointed that I couldn't finish the final 2 tenths of a mile, but the urgent churning in my stomach wasn't going to let me go any further. The Captain said I looked pale and green upon my return. He did me the kindess of pouring what felt like an iceberg in the tub in order to soothe out the calf cramp. It was so cold I grabbed a towel to scream into so I wouldn't wake the kids. Calf felt better but I was feeling hypothermic, and so I poured some epsom salt in and adjusted the temperature warmer while I drank my chocolate milk to recover. Unfortuneatly the milk didn't stay with me for very long. Note to self, sip milk slowly next time. After I crawled into bed I had a long talk with my husband about how I felt after this long run. I was discouraged and miserable. Everything hurt, and I felt like I had failed myself by not being able to run the full distance. After a good night's rest things seem a lot different. I have regained use of my legs, and my color has returned to normal. I'm proud that I went as far as I did. I was just a training run, not the real race. So I can take what I learned from this run, toughen up and use the knowledge for future running. Hopefully my next long run will be more pleasant.